Time crime: Mr. Cyrulnik, let’s talk about death. When did you understand as a child that people die?
Boris Cyrulnik: Before I answer the question, I have to explain to you as a neuropsychiatrist that children generally understand the meaning of the word “death” at about seven years old. To understand the absolute nature of death, you have to understand two things. First, you need an idea of time – which a small child does not have. A baby freezes, it is hungry or abdominal pain, it lives in the present. Over time, the baby gets bigger, and it understands that someone who has gone away, let’s say, the grandfather comes back. But it takes time for the brain to understand that this grandfather, who has come back again and again, will never come back. You have to be able to do something second: remember the past. The anticipation and remembering must be connected. Only when the child understands what “never means” does death understand.
