“I hope n-tv draws the conclusions and doesn’t publish any further comments from her in the future.” As we all know, hope dies last. But there is none here. Of course, our columnist continues to write, because the world would only be duller without “Smoll Corner”.
“What stupendous nonsense you write,” said a recent email from a reader. Although the message undoubtedly reflected doubts about my mental abilities, I was certainly pleased. Because “stupendous” is a synonym for astonishing or astonishing. I am pleased that I can surprise citizens inside and outside and those in between who are currently or will soon be heading to heaven or hell. And it’s also wonderful that there are still people who use words that will soon be deported from the German-speaking world.
That’s why others come along. Strange word monsters and constructs in the name of a better world. Not long ago I called a specialist hoping to get an appointment. A voice asked for patience: “All employees are currently in discussions. The next free employees will be there for you shortly.”
Yep, I thought. These are the times in which language is supposed to make you a better person everywhere, even if – like me – you have long been a very good person who – to paraphrase Erich Mielke – loves everyone. Although I have to be honest: there are already a few people living in the eastern zone that I have to give my heart to. I’m suspicious of them. I can say that because I am Saxon.
Sorry, vegans
But I’m losing track, I just realized. So back to the phone: Since I kept getting thrown out of the queue, I had to listen to the grammatically incorrect announcement several times, which was okay because I recorded the wording with the intention of making a mess of it in a column. At this point, I would like to apologize to all vegetarian and vegan eaters as well as all animal rights activists if I have hurt feelings by using the word “verwursten”. I’m very sorry, I sincerely ask for your pardon – even though I’m writing this sitting down. I understand and accept that I may have offended many of you as well as pigs and cows. That was never my intention. But I am aware that in the end what matters is how the words are received by the recipient – and not how they were meant.
The sentences are a plagiarism from one of the countless apologies in recent years because someone said something publicly that was understood as offensive in our society of humiliated and insulted people. (Surely you have read Dostoyevsky and know that neuroses influenced human existence and interactions as early as the 19th century.) I simply typed “apologizes after shitstorm” into Google and then pinned the sentences. Now ntv.de has to pay me money even though I have only written off. I hope the legal department doesn’t contact me. It’s hard enough as a journalist in times of madness.
“Would you also get paid for this intellectual nonsense if the left-wing green-purple filthy Blome wasn’t the ‘chief’ of the propaganda… sorry, political department at RTL?” I’m not sure if it was a purely rhetorical question or if the reader was expecting some kind of answer. Many people worry about my income. “I hope n-tv draws the conclusions and doesn’t publish any further comments from her in the future.” Professional ban! Germans still have authoritarianism and a tendency towards totalitarianism. But there are also gracious readers. One person “can understand” that as a freelance author, I “only write what the publisher (broadcaster) would like to hear or read from you. Otherwise it won’t be published and you won’t get a fee!”
Breaking bridges and certainties
Nonsense. The editors give me complete freedom and never know what I’m writing about before I send out the latest column on Fridays. I would like to know whether the millions of journalism experts in the country who know what it’s like in editorial offices will also explain to the doctor apodictically what needs to be done in order to recover quickly. I asked my family doctor. She just rolled her eyes and I sensed that Doctor Google was in the room. These are the times when nothing is believed anymore, everything is questioned and is suspected. Certainties are disappearing at breakneck speed. This bothers me too.
I can still remember what was going through my head when the motorway bridge in Genoa collapsed in August 2018. 43 dead. I was of course shocked, also because I had driven over the structure myself weeks before at the wheel of a rental car. I thought how quickly life can be over when chance plays Russian roulette and you are in the right place at the wrong time. But also: How good to live in a country where something like that could never, never, ever happen. Because if there is something that works, it is that in this country you can rely on bridges being controlled and not collapsing.
One can be upset about Germany’s tendency to constantly check compliance with requirements to protect against all kinds of accidents. But this fussiness and fussing has its good side. It protects human lives. And then came the Dresden bridge collapse, which made me shudder just as much when I read the headline to the report as the Genoa accident in 2018. Although there was quick relief that no one was hurt in the Saxon state capital. But that’s just because of crazy luck. The last tram rolled over the structure 18 minutes before part of the overpass was demolished.
I don’t want to accuse anyone, I just don’t know enough about it. Perhaps it was impossible to avoid disaster. Nevertheless, I suspect that a lot of people were like me, that with the bridge a piece of certainty was lost (again) that Germany is no longer the country it once was.
Uncomfortable feeling
Weren’t jobs at VW still guaranteed yesterday? Wasn’t Germany still the country where you could feel safe and go to a street party without having to worry about getting a knife in the neck? Wasn’t the Federal Republic the state that was swimming in money until recently? Just a few years ago, couldn’t pensioners live comfortably here without going to a food bank?
Would anyone have thought that freedom of expression would be perceived as threatened in this country? Until February 22, 2022, wasn’t Europe the continent where no wars were fought? Wasn’t the political concept of rearmament and deterrence a thing of the past?
I could add many more questions about different areas, but let’s leave it at that. You have a brain yourself. At least I hope so. I don’t want to paint the devil on the wall under any circumstances. Others do that enough. I will continue to drive my car and train over bridges and walk through streets without fear. But an uneasy feeling remains. Precisely because certainties are disappearing, those beliefs that have made our country so strong, beautiful and worth living in. So far, anyway.
